Posts Tagged: social



Jul 11

The Soundscape

Seaford cliffs

Today is a beautiful day. I lie on the cliff edge as the sun sits on the horizon, its rays bounce on the waves and ripples in my eyes. The heat still simmers but it is punctuated by a cool breeze emanating from the horizon. I feel at ease as my skin is cleansed from the heat of the day and awashed with the coolness of the night.

I close my eyes and feel the silence, it envelopes me peacefully. I have a smile on my face, because I am content. I think it’s catching because one by one, the stars are coming out fighting against the afternoon sun. Some metres along the cliff edge, there is a couple, who I have never met before, with the moodiest faces in the area. As I glance their lips, I caught their conversation:

“Why have we come here? You can’t hear yourself think.”

“The traffic will go, love.” He was trying to be bothered.

“And the bloody seagulls.”

Just at that moment, a nearby car alarm went off. It was the last straw. They just upped and walked as if they were running away from an invisible monster, looking over their shoulders for the next swipe of sound.

It’s true. It was the afternoon traffic along the seafront with tempered drivers trying to get home for the weekend. Seagulls are notorious along the south coast and very popular in Brighton, they are always on the look out of a stray chip.

You will have to excuse me because I actually felt sorry for this couple. I was here living this wonderful moment in this glorious landscape, and they just couldn’t appreciate it like I do. They were trapped in a soundscape that alters their reality. It can turn such beautiful things into something rather unpleasant.

You see, I remember. I used to wear hearing aids. I remember the sounds invading my head and tickling my ear drum somewhere on the threshold of tolerable and intolerable. The sounds have a dreadful tendency to cause headaches that felt like the morning after a bad night. Hearing aids make you drunk with sound. It can be addictive because the slowly dying batteries make you want to search your pockets, drawers or handbags for the stray replacement, or make the guilty rush to a chemist.

I am one of those people who have detoxed themselves from hearing aids. Sometimes I feel a twinge of longing to try a pair and hear a bit of noise, a tune or the final of X Factor. But I remind myself that guilty pleasures will only cause problems later on. The ear infections and tinnitus (ringing noises from the head) are the worst.

I look at hearing people who live in the soundscape from a very young age. I don’t think they realise just how much sound rules their lives. There are some unwanted sounds, such as unshakeable tunes, the annoying muzak and rumble from a projector. If one is trying to work, they would either put up with it moodily or angrily switch it off. There is nearly always emotional response to the offending sound.

Sound is also a social inhibitor. I noticed in one train carriage, 60% were listening to an iPod like device. Their eyes are open but they are not looking, all the senses are turned off as they escape into an alternative reality. Sometimes they share, one might offer an ear bud to another (not very hygienic) and bring someone into their reality.

People are quite hopeless at managing sound. In a meeting room with the air conditioning humming and pneumatic drill roaring outside; no one complains. When my interpreter finally says something about it, you can see the shame in my hearing colleagues’ eyes: “they know I was not listening.” One might feel the need to fill the silence with sound but they are not obliged to listen.

The social rules of sound are difficult to understand. Whenever I say something in a public place, there are always two reactions: ‘shush’ or ‘speak up’. It always happens in a restaurant and I never seem to get it right to a tee. When I find the right volume, I try to maintain level until everyone decide to leave the room without me knowing, and the trick of ‘shush’ and ‘speak up’ starts again. I look bewildered at the craziness of the soundscape, it is a game, surely.

Hearing people know these rules, they are not written down because they are culturally bound. It depends on your ethnicity, class or the environment. Bodily sounds such as burps, slurps and yums are particularly notorious – the reactions can depend on who you are with. The general advice is try to avoid it if you can. Yumming is particularly hard because you lose focus when you are enjoying your food. It is a cat and mouse game, when you are nearly always the mouse.

Beware of sounds that happen at night. If you happen to live with a hearing person, please do expect disturbed sleep or interrupted evenings. Hearing people tend to jump, walk about for no reason and start a ‘sound hunt’. It is done with a Homo Erectus level of ferocity. They don’t stop until they get their kill, the source of the sound.

Hearing people make very clever use of sound. They know how to butt into a conversation as they edge in with an ummm or an ahhh. They play with the pitch of their voices to make their contributions acceptable, low for seriousness and high for playfullness. Some hearing people are not very good at this game at all and it separates out the alphas from the betas.

I understand that hearing people want me to enter their world, they want me to hear. But what they don’t realise is that it is not hearing that is the point, they want me to enter the game; the soundscape. As a sign language user, I am out of the game and considered an anomaly but if I am in the game, they can decide where I am in the pecking order.

This experience makes me even more convinced that hearingness and deafness is not a medically constructed reality, it is a socially constructed one. One might give as much sound as one can but it doesn’t resolve the social complexity of how people reacts to, manages and plays with it. No machine, ingenious or otherwise, will achieve this level of complexity, because humanity is simply brilliant.

So I look at the arguing couple walk away from the cliff edge, and let them get on with it. I look at the gulls soaring through the sky like white tailed aeroplanes and the cars move gracefully along the road in a polite queue, and the twinkling flashes from the white stars to the orange car alarms. It is amazing how the natural and man-made mirror each other. It is just a shame how they sound.

Photo by imjustcreative


Jun 11

Requiem Mass

The road in the death valley

While the unfinished Requiem Mass by Mozart in D Major plays in the background, the telephone rings. My partner, Marco, picks up the phone. “Can I speak to Mr. Walker?” It was a forced jovial voice.

“I am afraid John can’t come to the phone, although he is here. He is deaf. Would you like me to pass on a message for you, or I could relay the conversation between you and him?”

“Oh, I am so sorry for you news,” came the sympathetic tones.

“I said, deaf not dead. John can’t hear.”

“I am so very sorry.”

There must be a few companies out there who think I have passed away. Will I be waiting for someone to come round with a bunch of flowers or a card of sympathy? Or be stopped at the immigration desk asking if I am the real John Walker.

Yes, deaf and death are homophones to a lazy speaker who would pronounce ‘th’ with a ‘f.’ But this phonological analysis only scratches the surface, there is a cultural reality of how ‘deaf’ is perceived.

My Grandmother was at her deathbed. She lay in coma after a heart attack and two successive strokes; the doctor prepared us to expect her life to come to an end. She was 78 years old and lived a good life. She was the oldest of 7 siblings and was the family matriarch.

I was told by the doctor, as I sat beside her, that I should speak to her. Puzzled, I asked why. It is thought that hearing is the last sense to go, she might be able to hear our conversations and words of reassurance. When my parents left the room to get a cup of coffee, I stayed behind and spoke of the memories we had and the things we did as a family, only to clammer up when they returned; I felt embarrassed. You must remember that I was only 19 years old at the time and it was bizarre to talk to someone who couldn’t respond.

The idea of sound and hearing being the final frontier of human existence places a lot of emphasis on the relationship between hearingness, or the lack of it, and the impending death. The statistics are quite strong, 2/3 of over 75 year olds have a hearing loss. A large proportion of the 4 million deaf and hard of hearing people in the country are elderly. There are several conditions that give rise to hearing loss, such as osteoporosis; the weakening of the bones such as those in the middle ear that lose efficiency to transmit sounds to cochlear.

It does make me wonder why people refer to deafness as a ‘serious condition’. The loss of hearing, in mid life, coincides with the loss of family, work, social networks and relationships. This ongoing chain of consequences, when one’s life breaks down, leads to a sensation of a downward spiral closer to the ‘final conclusion’. It must be terrifying and haunting to have a hearing loss as the doorway to one’s mortality.

A friend who worked at M&S noticed a difference in the customers’ reactions. When she didn’t understand a customer, she says “Hi, I’m deaf, can you say that again?” The customer just ups and walks. Her strategy was to change what she says, “Hi, I can’t hear very well, can you say that again?” And the customer stays. Deaf doesn’t only mean dead but also dead end. There is a deep reference in society about how one reacts to the word. If the common reference to deaf-life is over the age of 65, is it not surprising?

Even some parents of newly born deaf children associate deafness with mortality. When the parents receive news from their child’s neonatal hearing test, they react with shock when they realise the child they had is not the child they have now. In a sense, the previous child ‘died’ and there is a different child in front of them. It takes time to get their head around the idea that they have a beautiful child with a promising future.

There is something important about bringing a child to life, there is a process of preparing that child for adulthood in order to set them free into society. Free to influence the world as they see fit. This is what happens to those children who seek opportunities, including opportunities in the Deaf community. They realise their social capital as bilingual/bicultural individuals who can function in both the Deaf and hearing worlds.

My previous thoughts about the insider and outsider dichotomy shows here too. Society considers deafness as a loss of capital, a loss of worth, whereas Deaf people see deafness as a capital gain, an increase of worthiness. This is where the conflict reigns. I, for one, am not prepared to live my life with my own mortality as a constant reference point, I am here to live just as I am.

I go to the radio playing the Requiem and give Marco a sharp look, I switch it off. “Another few more years before we get to this stage.”

Photo by s.alt


Jun 11

So, how much am I worth?

The money cat

£1? A fiver? My salary? My life insurance? A lottery ticket? The entire expenditure of the thirty-something years of my life?

How much am I worth?

Karl Marx‘s vitriolic writing brought capitalism to realisation. He described an era when populations moved from the farms to the cities, in hope of a better life. They wanted to be free from toiling the land, from being a slave to the seasons, and enjoy the cultural offerings of the city. But it brought about another set of problems: poor sanitation, long working hours, and low pay. It created a hierarchy from the very poor to the very rich.

My family were immigrant Jews from the Pale of Settlement and very poor tailors. They lived in the Leyland district of Leeds, now gladly razed to the ground and replaced with garages. On the other side, I come from a family of Welsh miners in Pontypridd. Both trades are right at the bottom of the economic tree. So, my ancestry is not worth, fiscally, that much at all.

To a medical doctor, I am worth £60k. It is the cost of a child’s operation and maintenance of a cochlear implant for their entire life. To a sign language interpreter, I am worth £30k per year, which I will require irrespective of whether I have a cochlear implant or not. I am still biologically deaf and still culturally Deaf! That would only be money in the pocket of the Doctor, so I won’t bother with that.

At work, I have brought £500k into my University for the development of Deaf Studies over the last 5 years, minus my salary of course. The outcomes of my work has enabled community-driven activities that is worth £100k, mostly given in-kind.

Even though I presented the facts here, the perceptions of my worthiness is very different from the outside. Philip Davies MP thinks I am worth less than the minimum wage, which is under £5.93 per hour. He has underestimated the true cost because the enforced lower working class would give rise to more persecution in the workplace, increase in tribunal costs and compensation. Mr Davies hasn’t done his maths but he still managed to spend £171k worth of expenses, in 2008/9, as a Member of Parliament. If I was a voter in Shipley, I would pass a vote of no confidence, especially when he is encouraging parliament to breach the Equality Act to get disabled people into underpaid work.

Our Prime Minister, David Cameron, thinks I am worth £1k too much and will convert Disability Living Allowance into a more personalised Personal Independence Plan. In the assessment, I am supposed to be directed to possible aids that will supposedly take me out of the need for benefits. I hope the GP doesn’t persuade me to go for the £60k operation in order to save the Government £1k per year. I would need to live until I am 99 years old before they get their money back.

But there is hope. The Sayce independent report quotes that for every £1 spent on Access to Work, the Government receives £1.48 back. That is brilliant because less disabled people will be on benefits and more will be paying taxes. Hopefully Government will take heed to this report and invest in AtW.

So far I have written about worthiness in terms of money, the notes and coins in my pocket or the total in my bank account. There are other types of worthiness. My social network has a value of roughly 500 Facebook friends, 50 in Linkedin, 100 in Twitter and a few here because I have just started blogging. I have about 200 phone numbers in my mobile phone. I have invested in a good Macbook and an iPhone to stay in touch with them all. The resources I develop can reach the people I know and their networks too.

There is one other worthiness I have revelled in since 1989. It was the day that I entered the Deaf community. I came from a life that my hearing parents gave me, which exposed me to the nuances of a ‘hearing people’. In 1989, it was Madonna and ‘Like a Prayer‘, and in 2011, it is Lady Gaga and ‘Born this Way’. Deja vu? Anyway, I discovered that I could only lipread for a maximum of one hour, assisted with hearing aids before nodding off whereas using sign language, I could last a full day and go to bed at the appropriate time. Deaf culture afforded me a better quality of life and better resources to nurture, develop and express who I am. If I didn’t, there would have been a greater chance of mental health problems and lifelong payments for counselling – so that’s money saved there.

I mustn’t underestimate the worth of my job title, my qualifications, awards and membership of professional bodies. I remember my Scout Master reminding me the importance of my well-earned badges; “if you ever feel you are unable to practice the skill you have earned, you must remove the badge from your shirt.” So I must behave responsibly and bravely, most of the time, in order to retain respect for what I can do.

Phew. So, what am I worth? What is my capital? My perceived capital is most probably far lower than my true capital, because people outside of my life could never fully appreciate my worth. Many are prescribing my worth: including parents of newly born deaf children, organisations representing deaf people, lawmakers and geneticists. The generalist statements of ‘vulnerable adult’, ‘disabled’ and the recent ‘benefit scrounger’ is placing my worth out of proportion.

So I get up, and brush my shoulders so the labels peel off and fall to the ground. It is true: I am worth the £1 tip, the fiver I owe, the hopeful lottery ticket and reassuring life insurance. I remind myself of Bourdieu’s work, including Economic Capital, Social Capital, Cultural Capital and Symbolic Capital; I realise I am worth loads. But no one will ever know what I am truly worth, <wink>.

Photo by Eric J. Gustafson